I'm a total asshole. I'm a fan of meth, but I don't mind pot. I did an eBay search for a Super Mario World copy for the SNES. But I couldn't because my friend, Dyel was knocking at the door. I thought this was very strange.
I opened the door, and to my surprise, Dyle was there! He was holding a dildo, and a CD ROM... I thought it was very weird that he was holding a CD ROM. Dyle raped me with the dildo, and threw the CD ROM at me. I thought it was strange that he threw that CD ROM at me.
Dyle left, and I looked at the CD ROM. It said "M a R i O". I was going to put the CD ROM in my PC, but I just realized that I was stil on eBay on the computer. So I went back on eBay and looked up more SMW copies.
I saw one copy that said "M a R i O". I thought this was very strange. I clicked on the product and it was $300 Canadian dollars. But I ignored it, and went straight to the description. The description said "GIVE ME BACK THE DISK! - Dyle." I don't want to give the disk back, because I'm an asshole friend, and I only care about myself.
I jammed the CD ROM into my PC, and the game started up. The title screen was like UN-anything I have seen before. It showed Mario, raping Yoshi, and there was blood on the ground... And poor Luigi was getting eaten by Bowser. There was realistic blood and guts everywhere. I thought this was very funny. I pressed start, and it took me to the world map.
The world map was red, like blood, and it was all realistic and shit. But to my surprise, I was being BOWSER, and NOT Mario! I thought this was some kind of sick joke. I went to the first level, and it was strange... The background was black, but the ground and platforms were a tan-like color. The music was a distorted version of the Super Mario Bros. thrmr, but with trumpets. Bowser looked like himself from Super Mario All Stars, and pressing the Y button makes him spit out fire balls. I jumped on an enemy, and blood and eyeballs went everywhere. I laughed so hard, my lungs were hurting.
I approached the end of the level, and I saw Luigi at a hotdog stand. I went to him and he said "I'm selling M a R i O's liver..." I thought this was hilarious! But the next level was even more funnier... The final level was Bowser, Luigi, and Yoshi raping Mario's dead corpse to death. There was realistic blood going everywhere, and there was a billboard on the top of the screen that said "Game Over M a R i O". You won't believe how hard I laughed!
I laughed so hard, my lungs exploded.
I'm dead.
Never laugh at death.
THE END